So it is Wednesday night, ladies night, and you and your girlfriends are looking for some “innocent fun.” Take no shame in celebrating the mid-week by staying out late and skipping your eight am. Everyone does it but this is how (recent birthday girl) Chrissy Teigen does it.
The night has just started and you are totally feeling your look (and so is everyone else). You studied your butt of for that bio exam and guess what?! You passed with flying colors. So what better way to celebrate than by dolling up for the night and feeling A++.
Once everyone is ready, you prepare a pose in the mirror and feel blessed for having such a genetically gifted group of girlfriends. “Damn, we look hot.” May be thrown around two or three times.
Your cousin is dating one of the bartenders so you and your friends get to skip that dreadful line. You can see the jealousy in everyone else’s eyes so you blow them an
totally non-sarcastic air kiss as you fairly cut them. Momma always says “its who you know.”
The Weeknd comes on and it puts you in your feels. No need to say more.
Then Fetty Wap comes on because Fetty Wap always happens to come on. At first you’re like “ugh this song is getting so old” but then Drake’s verse comes on and you can’t help but be like
A really cute guy offers to buy you a shot but you’re all like “can you put it in a cup please” because you don’t want to be called to Standards. He won’t because he feels it will “lessen his masculinity” so he walks away. Stupid sorority rules.
You are getting desperate for a drink so you decide to take matter into your own hands. You think to yourself, “I look hot. I look twenty-one. I can totally pull this off.”
So you set fire to your amazing flirtation skills. You get a few rounds but fail to tip because “hey, you are a broke college student too” and the bartender threatens to kick you out for being underage if you don’t start tipping. And you’re just like..
So you laugh it off and get back to the dance floor because you aren’t going to let something like this ruin your night. So you selfie it out because makeup like this needs to be seen by all of your snapchat besties.
“Holy sh*t that’s the guy from my math class” One of your friends say and then all of the fantasies she’s told you about are coming to life.
That last Sex On the Beach left you feeling incredibly ballsy so you decide its finally time for this guy to understand your friends amazingness. But she knows you so well that before you can even move an inch your life is being threatened if you don’t keep your mouth shut.
By now you’re feeling exhausted and you start making your rounds so everyone can get one last look and to give your friends a heads up that its ’bout time to go.
The myth is true. You don’t realize how drunk you are until you sit down. But who cares because you had a great time and now you’re just ready to jump into bed. Yes we go to bed looking like this too.